I Can't Stop Thinking About...The Empyrean

Hello friends!

Here I am back in your inboxes for the first time since, uh, October. In my defense, the last sixish months have been hectic.

 Here’s what I’ve been up to:

• I got married four days before Christmas.

• We did the holidays with family, then went on our honeymoon in Grenada.

• Then a few weeks later, we went on a family cruise.

• Then I went to Connecticut for a long weekend after a week of my husband having the flu and our cat being sick.

• A few weeks later, we went to Mexico City for a wedding.

In between this, there was wedding planning, then wedding thank you notes, and working on some other writing stuff that I will maybe share at some point.  And then, right as things began winding down, my family’s beloved 13-year-old lab, Lucy, was diagnosed with a neurodegenerative disease. I spent a month spending as much time with her as I could before she passed away March 22.

Anyone who has been reading this newsletter for its short existence knows I am no stranger to grief. But something about losing my dog hit hard. It wasn’t just seeing her go from puppy to declining senior in what felt like a blink of an eye or her not understanding what was happening to her body or the unnatural process of having to make the call to put her down and then knowing her last day was coming. It was losing a pet who has been part of my family’s lives for 13 years.

I think a lot of people overly humanize their dogs, but let me be clear: my family was not a dog family. I wanted one so badly growing up but it wasn’t until I was 18 that my parents caved. They made it clear this would be our only dog. We were due to get a puppy that spring, but then the breeder called two months early and said they had a puppy who’d been brought back and did we want her? The answer was yes.

Lucy’s middle name was Destiny because she felt truly fated for us. I don’t think any other dog would’ve turned our “not a dog” family into fanatics. To this day, I don’t like a lot of dogs because they’re loud or jumpy or steal food. Lucy did none of that. She was so gentle that my dad pointed out you could put your hand in her mouth and she wouldn’t bite down. When we were putting her down, we said surely every family feels this way about their dog and the tech made a face that let us know that was not the case. 

Lucy put up with so much nonsense from us. We put her in Halloween costumes and sunglasses and hats. She only asked for endless pets, snuggles, and games of tug-of-war in return. At the same time, she was so stubborn and mischievous that it was impossible not to laugh at her sometimes, like the time she broke into her Christmas presents early. 

Lucy offered up unwavering love and affection to all of us and I already miss her lying on me as I read on the floor or running between my legs in the morning if I didn’t pet her enough upon waking up. I would give anything for those moments again. I am so glad she showed me the type of love that is possible between a girl and her dog. I hope I someday feel ready to open my heart up that way again to another dog who I hope will somehow share some of Lucy’s gentle spirit.

This is not a newsletter about my dog (though I can’t stop thinking about her either).   Dear readers, I come to your inbox to tell you I cannot think about The Empyrean series (better known as Fourth Wing).

I know these books are nothing new. You cannot scroll on BookTok or go into Barnes and Noble without seeing their signature gold and black covers. I saw them everywhere on our honeymoon and I am ashamed to say, it made me not want to read them. For one, I question the quality of popular books. (I was burned deeply from the time I tried Colleen Hoover.) I also have not read fantasy since I was young and never saw the appeal as an adult.

Then I wrote this story for work about why romantasy is taking off. I was forced to actually learn the plot of Fourth Wing and became a little intrigued: A girl who was meant to become a scribe is forced to become a dragon rider and then meets a hot guy. What could go wrong? What cuold go right?

I decided to take out the first book from the library for the sake of research. But I couldn’t deny there was a little pep in my step as I walked to my local branch, thinking about the prospect of getting into a new series.

Long story short, I haven’t stopped reading since then. I just finished third book of the series and feel lost until I can get the fourth.

When I am sad, I tend to escape into fiction with lots of world building. This series did the trick. It’s far from perfect — the writing drives me nuts at times (there’s so much modern slang that feels wrong!) and I do not understand how the magic in this world works STILL — but the pace and what I could understand of the story kept me reading these books almost exclusively for over a month straight.

As a writer, I also firmly believe I can learn something from every book, even ones with shortcomings. Here’s three things I’m loving and learning from in Fourth Wing.

Violet’s disability doesn’t stop her. Violet, the protagonist of the novel, has a connective tissue disorder that is very similar to Ehlers Danlos Syndrome which the author also has. It doesn’t prevent her though from the physically exhausting work of being a dragon rider and fighting venin, the enemies in this world. I love how she finds modifications that allow her to keep up. It sends a powerful message about different needs.

The romance is actually sexy. Confession: I am a romance reader, but most sexy scenes make me cringe. Fourth Wing was the first book where I could read these scenes instead of skimming through them…and dare I say, they were actually a little hot? Writing romances from the female gaze and with a love interest who is truly dedicated to pleasing his partner feels like a refreshing change from some other books I’ve read.

Keeping things action-packed keeps the readers hooked. I know this seems obvious, but I really don’t read a lot of intense books filled with cliffhangers and high stakes. Getting absorbed in one has made me realize the value of sometimes just vibing out with an action-packed book that just makes you want to keep reading.

Overall, what I have loved most about this series is it gives me something to look forward to. I don’t think I can adequately express how dark these last few weeks have felt knowing I was going to lose a beloved pet. Getting to read another few chapters of Fourth Wing to get through on my commute or before bed became glimmers during days that have felt so long and sad. The fact that it’s motivated me to write? That in itself feels like a miracle.

I know this series is nothing new, but it is new to me and I hope maybe, if someday soon you are also feeling sad and want to read something for the sake of pure enjoyment, it might be something you turn to and find comfort from as well.

Thanks all for reading and letting me share a little more about my dog. I’m feeling a little rusty at this whole writing thing, but I am hoping to keep returning to your inboxes regularly.